Grandma's Gladness: Kindness Begins With Me

Sunday, November 9, 2008

Kindness Begins With Me

For our book club this month, we have been reading Breakfast With Buddha by Roland Merullo. It is a story of a trip to North Dakota taken by an average Joe and a Siberian monk (you will have to read it to find out why they were travelling together)! At one point on their six day journey, they meet an educated couple who quite unknowingly, come off as cynical and judgmental. During a conversation, they ask Rinpoche (the monk) about the eleven languages that he speaks. I thought this part was classic.

Matthew drew his head back in surprise (after learning that Rinpoche spoke eleven languages), actual or feigned, I could not tell. "Really. Say something, then in Italian, or Russian, or Greek. Or are they languages none of us might know, your eleven?"
Rinpoche looked at him for a long moment, until the silence grew awkward around us, and then he said, "Kindness is one language I know." And he spoke the phrase kindly, too, as if it were simply a statement of fact.

What a lesson for all of us to learn! I know that I need to use the language of kindness much more often. I am sharp with people on the phone or when contesting something I feel is wrong. Kindness and humor goes a lot further than sarcasm and angry words. There is much to treating everyone as we would be treated.

3 comments:

The Gibsons said...: Great thought Mom, I'm going to have to figure out a way to use that in my talk on Sunday.

By the way, 4:29 in the morning??? How in the world can you think so clearly that early?; November 9, 2008 at 4:02 PM
Mark and Kellie said...: So THAT'S where I got my tendency to be sarcastic to customer service reps on the phone. I'm getting better and being patient with the pizza delivery people on the phone -- some of them are my clients, after all.; November 9, 2008 at 10:54 PM
LJ said...: I agree. Kindness does go a long way. That was a really neat story. It's all about the golden rule, except for telemarketers though, right? :); November 16, 2008 at 1:10 AM

Grandpa's Story

For My Grandkids: A True Story I thought I would share an experience this week concerning my lunch sack and your Grandmother. I take my lunch to work everyday to allow me extra time to work at my desk. Being a guy who is sympathetic to environmentally friendly practices, I like to use the same old bag over and over. So I bring it home each night for reuse. Grandma, however, doesn’t like a sack that is at all wrinkled or torn. (This, of course, tends to worry me since I am rather wrinkled and scarred.) So, she insists on ditching these sacks while they are at the prime of life and at the top of their game. This week, however, I was blessed to have a lunch sack that was amazingly feisty. Rather than allow itself to be pitched the next day after it had performed its labors most acceptably, it began a conversation with your Grandma. Since like most sacks, my sack did not have vocal cords, it communicated in a most interesting way. It caused writing to appear on its outside. Grandma, after overcoming her surprise at having to deal with a sack that could communicate, immediately jumped into the conversation. This is how the dialogue went over a period of several days: SACK: “Good Morning, Dr. Gibson, I am at your service. It’s just too bad that you don’t call the shots in the house or I might be of service for more than a few days!” GRANDMA: “Right! You know who is in charge!” SACK (the next day): “No doubt there, you run a tough ship!” GRANDMA : “It’s a rough life for a sack around here!” (Which, of course, sack had already learned from its previous buddies, now regrettably deceased) SACK (a day later): “What is it as a sack That I truly seem to lack That would cause you as my host To soon declare me TOAST?” (Sack was trying to be more elegant and enticing in its comments at this point, trying to win over this determined grandmother. Obviously, poems from a sack hardly qualify for “elegant”.) GRANDMA: “Friday the 13th will be your last day, You will join all your friends – hip hip hurray!” SACK (still determined, despite Grandma’s obvious talent): A poet I know I ain’t But a tragic picture I must paint, All know I did my level best, Yet, trashed I am at her behest GRANDMA (Alas, undeterred in her nefarious designs): Sad but true It’s the trashcan for you! Happy Unlucky Friday the 13th! BYE! SACK (Its final comment prior to be pushed to the brink): So while for you it may be simply adieu, For me it is the horror of the Loo! That is how the conversation ended. Now, I have a question for each of our Grandchildren. I managed to save this gutsy (albeit only modestly talented) little sack for a few days. This delay in execution is only temporary, however. Do you vote to have our little sack survive or should it be given the “deep six” by Grandma? Your vote will determine its fate. Thanks for your attention to this crucial matter. Love, Grandpa (advocate for our little lunch sack)

GRANDMA'S NEW YEARS MEMORIES

Let’s see what I can recall about New Year’s Eve and Day for the past 63 years. As a child, I can remember that we would get to stay up late and have lots of pop and potato chips and other treats. We would watch the celebrations from New York and Chicago on television and celebrate with them as the clock struck midnight. If we were still awake when it was finally time for Utah to celebrate, we would get the pots and pans ready and after the countdown, we would go outside and shout “HAPPY NEW YEAR!” and bang as hard as we could. We were then excited to go in and call Grandma Ashby and ask, “Is this 1953?” (or whatever year it happened to be). She would always act surprised and say, “No, you must have the wrong number!” We would then laugh and say, “Yes, it is 1953, Grandma!” Every year she would fall for our corny gag although now I am sure she was just playing along with our little joke. The next morning we would get up late and after breakfast, it would be time to take down the tree. It was always sad to know that Christmas was a long way off and that this year’s celebration was over. My dad always said, “Shall we take down the tree?” right after all the presents were opened on Christmas Day and we would always say, “No, not until New Year’s Day!” I can remember my dad taking us up the canyon with sleds and pulling us behind the car. I am sure that this was not safe but he probably didn’t drive downhill as we experienced this thrilling ride. We would come back cold and wet for hot cocoa and cookies. As I got old enough to babysit, I was usually at someone else’s home on New Year’s Eve. People always seemed to appreciate being able to get a babysitter and would pay more that night. One time, I was at the Winegars and decided to bang a pot outside by myself since the children were in bed. Well, I locked myself out! Good thing it wasn’t too cold and they returned very shortly thereafter. That was embarrassing! In high school, I would usually have a date for New Year’s Eve. One night, we went to a dance in Spanish Fork and when we were coming back around the curve in Payson, we slid off the road and had to call my dad to come and help us. There was no damage but it could have been terrible since we didn’t wear seat belts in those days. In college, I remember with dreading New Year’s Day. It usually meant that I had procrastinated doing some big paper for a class and would have to work very hard to complete the assignment before heading back to school. January finals were also looming and they were no fun. Since marriage, I don’t think that I have been able to stay awake until midnight very often. The kids would wake me to bang pots and pans at midnight and I would be glad to go up to bed. When the kids came home for the holidays during college and after marriage, New Year’s Day usually meant trips to the airport. It was hard to see them go back especially when the weather was so terrible some years. One year Kim & Jill got stuck overnight in Phoenix or somewhere since there was so much fog in Salt Lake that planes were not allowed to land there. We were always glad to hear that they had safely arrived in Provo or Idaho. 2000 and the new millenium was celebrated in Naperville and all over the country in a big way. The Y2K bug was a threat but turned out to be inconsequential. We had some of the kids here and they were excited to see the fireworks and parade that year. Crowds of people never went to bed that night, I think. It was quite something to think that we were celebrating such an event. Rulon and I celebrated the arrival of 2006 in Israel. That was a very special time for us. We were with a fun group in a wonderful place. But this year, 2007 was also spent with a fun group in a special place – we were with our family in Orem at Paige and Dan’s home. We hope to be able to spend the holidays with our family each year whether here or with them in Utah or Wyoming. I feel fortunate to have seen so many years come and go. Each new one promises wonderful things to come and the old ones are full of memories. I am looking forward to more years and hope that I can do better with each one. Barbara Tanner Gibson January, 2007

GRANDMA'S VALENTINES DAY MEMORIES

Barbara Tanner Gibson “Please won’t chew (piece of gum attached) be my Valentine?” “Hey, Valentine – let’s be a pear!” “ My heart beets for you!” “QT, won’t you be mine?” These are some of the sayings on the valentines that are saved in my baby scrapbook. These sayings are probably still being used on the superhero and princess valentine cards of today. I don’t remember Valentine’s Day as being much of a romantic day for lovers as just a day for kids. We were able to purchase our cards and using the class list, write out a card to each member. We had to be careful not to give a “girly” card to a boy or a “boy” card to a girl. We didn’t want the sayings to be too mushy – just friendly or funny. There was always a teacher card too. I can remember writing on the card table until my hands would ache and still not have finished the list. Eventually they were all put in the envelopes and sealed and names written on the front (no stickers or candy that I can remember). On a certain day, we took the precious bundle to school along with our homemade valentine box. There was always great excitement as we assessed who had the “best” box this year. Crepe paper that was pinched or ruffled and glued onto a shoebox with paper doilies was the standard. However, it was also great for the girls if you could get your mother to use an oatmeal box (round) and put a storybook doll down through the top. The box was made into a skirt with a slit in the back to slip the cards through. I still remember the box that I had like that. For the boys, it was cool to have wings on the box and a propeller to make it look like a plane. I always felt sorry for the kids who didn’t bring a box. Their valentines had to be put in an envelope with their name on it. On the big day, the afternoon would be devoted the big event of passing out and opening the valentines. Usually, the teacher would choose a postman to help. We all wanted to be the postman and so tried to be very good that day. When all the cards were in the correct boxes, we could open it up and pour out the contents onto our desks. We read the cards and laughed at the corny jokes and tried to see if there was a special meaning in any of them. I believe we had homemade cupcakes most years from the room mothers. Then we would put the cards back in the boxes and try to get them home safely through the slush and puddles of mid February. At home, there was more fun as we got our cards ready for the neighbors. We would wait until dark and then go to the porch of some of our close neighbors. There we would put the card on the mat, knock or ring the doorbell and then run and hide by the side of the house and wait to see who would open the door. Some tried to trick the finder by tying a string to the valentine and pulling it away as they tried to pick it up. I don’t remember doing that but probably it was more a boy thing. Valentine Day dances in Jr. High School are another memories that I have. Boys were on one side of the gym and the girls were on the other. It was awful to watch the boys cross the gym to ask a girl to dance and being afraid that I would still be sitting there when the music started. I can’t believe they put us through such torture! The only time the floor was really full was when a “girls’ choice” was called. High School was a little better. I remember a few little presents given to me on this holiday. One was a little stuffed skunk with a red heart necklace. I kept it until the romance was over and then got rid of it. I remember in college that a boy I was going with gave me a pot of red tulips. My dorm nickname was Tulip and we also had Pansy, Petunia, etc. Anyway, one of my roommates thought that it would be a good idea to put the pot by the open window at night. The next morning, they were completely frozen! I was upset then but now it seems funny. The tulips lasted about as long as that boyfriend! I met Rulon right after Valentine’s Day in 1965. Even though I didn’t know it then, he would become my sweetheart for all eternity. He is always so kind and thoughtful of me every day. Valentine’s Day is just another time for us to express our love for each other. No fancy gifts are needed. He usually gets me a beautiful card with a wonderful verse inside. I make a nice dinner for him. He will always be my Valentine no matter what day it is!

GRANDMA'S SPRINGTIME MEMORIES

After a long winter, the signs of spring are very welcome. I want to write some of the memories I have of St. Patrick’s Day, April Fool’s Day and Easter. When I was young, we did celebrate St. Patrick’s Day by wearing something green to avoid being pinched. I didn’t understand the meaning of such a holiday then but knew it had something to do with the fact that St. Patrick had driven the snakes out of Ireland. Now, after living in Chicago for so many years and seeing the parades of marching politicians and watching them dye the Chicago River green, I can understand better how much it means to the Irish. They had to stick together after coming to this country to avoid the potato famine. They were not treated well here but most went on to greatly improve their lives, become good citizens and become a powerful force politically. I have heard that the celebrations in Chicago for St. Patrick’s Day are larger than in Ireland! April Fool’s Day will always be associated with my Dad as he was born April 1, 1916. We always tried to play jokes on him but I think he was on to all of them. He was a good sport about it all. I remember the salt in the sugar bowl, the cake made of a frosted roll of toilet paper, the jokes such as “Dad, the cow is loose!” and many other such pranks. Easter was a happy time. When I was small, we always went to the egg hunt at the park on the Saturday before. After the scramble to grab eggs and put them in the baskets, we eagerly checked each one for the name of a business. Then we would walk downtown and show the egg with the store’s name on it for a nickel! There may have been eggs that were worth more, but I don’t quite remember. This was a smart move on the part of the business owners as it brought people into their stores. We would always have a picnic on the day before Easter and roll the eggs down a hill to crack them. Or we would crack them on our heads or the heads of someone else! But this hurt so we only did it for one or two eggs. Easter Sunday meant going to church with new clothes and shoes. I can still remember a bright yellow dress made of a waffle type fabric with daisy trim. Of course, my mother had made it. I remember matching coats that she made for Marilyn and me. I still have a couple of the buttons from those coats in my button box. I made a suit when I was a teenager. It was made of a blue and white checked fabric and I was so proud of it. I think I had white shoes and a new purse also. The Easter bunny was not really a regular tradition in our family. I don’t remember him bringing us baskets of candy but I do remember we had a bowl of jellybeans and maybe a chocolate bunny on some Easters. We always had a wonderful meal with our relatives that included lots of my mother’s wonderful potato salad made with those boiled Easter eggs. In my teenage years, it was tradition that groups of friends went to the canyon or West Mountain for a hike and picnic. I was always relieved when those plans were finally made. It was hard for me to be a leader and make such plans – I always wanted someone else to lead out and invite me. Sometimes we would freeze as we started our hikes and then roast as the sun got hotter. I know there were years when I sported a sunburn the next day. As Rulon and I began the Easter traditions with our family, we somehow came up with the idea of tying a string on the bedroom doorknob and winding it through the house in a maze and attaching the other end to the Easter basket. When we got six string mazes going it was really a sight. The kids seemed to love this and some of them are doing it with their own families. I always made the girls new dresses and even made Chris and Mark matching outfits when they were little. We sang “Here Comes Peter Cottontail Hopping Down the Bunny Trail” along with “Jesus Has Risen”. It must have been confusing to the children. When Rulon and I were able to visit the Holy Land and see the places where the sacred events took place, Easter took on a new meaning for me. We walked along “The Way of the Cross”. We saw Gethsemane and Golgotha and the tomb where He was laid. We were able to enter one at a time and feel the spirit of the resurrection. It was a very special moment in my life and Easter means so much more to me now. How grateful I am for Jesus and His atonement for us. I hope I can live worthy of what He has done for me. Now on this Easter 2007 as my father lies in a hospital suffering what may be his final illness, I feel hope and joy as I know that he has lived a good, noble life and will soon be with Heavenly Father and Jesus. I also know that he will be resurrected along with everyone because of the events of the first Easter. I bear my testimony that I know this is true.

GRANDMA'S THANKSGIVING MEMORIES

Thanksgiving Memories When I was little, we always went to Grandma Ashby’s house in Spanish Fork for Thanksgiving. I can remember the delicious smells and hugs that greeted us as we walked through the kitchen door. Grandma always had on her apron and had pies lined up and all sorts of wonderful things baking. As I think back on it now, I am amazed that we all fit into the small house. It just seemed normal then. I didn’t appreciate all of the work and planning that went into the meal. We would usually arrive first and eagerly await the coming of our cousins from Salt Lake. I remember them piling out of their car – my Uncle Sterling always had a nice one. He was full of jokes and fun and Aunt Grace was jolly too. Of course, Janice and I would get together and she would fill me in on all the latest in the big city. Robert and David were close in age also. Glen and Richard and Marilyn and Beverly matched up also and Gary and Don, my youngest brothers, had each other. Then Aunt Leah would come up from down the street with her cheerful face and kind manner. Uncle Merrill and Aunt Vees lived next to Grandma and Grandpa and so would come over with Dale, Wade, and Roy. Sometimes, Lois and Nylon wold come from California with Alan, Nancy, Randy, Lori and Lisa. It made for a full house. I remember the big round table that was stretched out to full capacity with a beautiful tablecloth and the best dishes. The women were in the kitchen busily dishing out the food and the men were in the living room watching a game. The kids would be outside or in one of the three small bedrooms. Finally, it was time to eat. The grownups would be at the big table and the kids would be on card tables or in the kitchen. Somehow, we all had a place and the food was served. I can still taste the delicious turkey, potatoes, gravy, peas, rolls, cranberry jelly, salads and yams with marshmallows. We would eat until we were stuffed! Then, later in the afternoon we enjoyed the pies - pumpkin, mincemeat, cherry and apple. The crusts were light and delicate (made with lard) and the fillings were just perfection. Grandma also had a chocolate cake and of course, her famous ginger cookies. Before the pie was served, the dishes were taken into the kitchen and scraped and washed and dried (by hand). Of course, it was the women who were doing this while the men talked and watched TV. Janice and I helped but usually were excused before everything was done. We would go into a bedroom and talk. The one bathroom was always occupied! You had to wait your turn and get in as soon as in was empty. I remember that after dinner, all the cousins would draw a name from a hat for a Christmas gift exchange. Then we would meet again at Christmas for another family dinner with the same wonderful food. Although this time it might be roast beef instead of turkey, the pies and the rest of the food was still the same. My grandma was in her glory as she prepared and served food. What great memories! During my BYU days, I remember coming home to Payson to find my mother in the midst of all the preparations. Somehow the location had changed to our house. It seemed like we still had the same menu. My roommates came with me a couple of times and enjoyed the meal and a break from dorm life and cooking. We still had the relatives coming although probably not all of them each year. My mother was also a wonderful cook and her rolls would float off if she didn’t keep a clean dishtowel over them! Rulon and I were married the day before Thanksgiving in 1965 in the Salt Lake Temple. We had a dinner after at the Hotel Temple Square with all those who had come for the wedding. After everyone drove away, we were alone. We had reservations for a room in the same hotel. But we ended up walking around Temple Square a few times before venturing back to the hotel! I think that was my fault. Finally, it got so cold that we had to go to our room. The next day, we also walked around Salt Lake. There were very few people wandering about and I felt sorry for them as they seemed to have no plans or purpose for the day. We drove down to Provo and stopped at one restaurant. The prices were too high so we left and found another place to eat our Thanksgiving meal! It was certainly not the traditional Thanksgiving dinner! We then headed to our little apartment and started setting up our first home. Rulon was a student at BYU and I was teaching First Grade in Payson so we just had the weekend before starting back to our normal routines. (But nothing was ever normal again – it has been a wonderful 41 years!) By our first anniversary, we had Chris who was born on September 20, 1966. We took him to Payson for Thanksgiving. His great grandparents made a big fuss over him. Grandpa Ashby died before Chris was born, but Grandma Ashby and Grandma and Grandpa Tanner thought he was very special and we loved showing him off. By the next Thanksgiving we had moved to Lincoln, Nebraska for Rulon’s graduate work at the University of Nebraska. For many years, we had Thanksgiving dinner with friends. We have either been invited to their homes or had a group at our home. Rulon interned in Palo Alto, California so one year we spent Thanksgiving at the home of Beth and Kim Sorensen, Rulon’s aunt and uncle. They practically adopted us while we were there and we felt very welcome in their home. Our two boys thought of them as an extra set of grandparents. When we moved to Naperville, Illinois after Rulon was finished with his doctorate, we usually had dinner with Bob and Claudia Fisher and their family. It was always a loud, noisy time but still filled with wonderful food and friendships. One year, my parents came for Thanksgiving, but we still had friends come! The Fishers moved away but still came back to visit their sons and families who lived here and so we were invited to join them one year. But at one point after we had been assigned to the Singles’ Branch where Rulon was a counselor and I was a “branch mother”, we decided that we would like to go out to a restaurant for Thanksgiving dinner. We found a wonderful place, The Viking, which served a great meal. Then we went to a movie and celebrated our anniversary that day. We always liked to call the kids and see where they were having dinner. Most of the time, the girls and their families would all get together. In 2005, we celebrated our 40th anniversary by going to Utah to visit the kids. We had a wonderful dinner at Lynn and Dustin’s new home in Spanish Fork. Mark and Kellie came from Green River with Holly, Kayla, Heather and Karli. Krissy was due with Holden in December and so she and Chris stayed home with Tevin, Chandler, Harrison and Sloane but we had visited them a few days before. Jill and Dave and Scottie and Mason were there along with Kim and Steve and Emily and Ella. Paige and Dan and baby Natalia were there too. And of course, Lynn, Dustin, Ty, Samantha and Braydon hosted us. (Since then, we have added Tanna Lee Shanks, Holden Rulon Gibson and Karyssa Lynn Johnson to our family.) We were given a surprise party at the Payson Park Ward church where we had our reception the day after Thanksgiving! Jill and Dave told us that we were headed to see the light festival in Spanish Fork. But then they put blindfolds on us so we knew something was happening and it wasn’t the light festival! When we stopped, they led us into the church where our whole family shouted, “Surprise!” The church was decorated beautifully and a meal was all prepared for us. Chris had come from St. George! My parents were also there. We had a wonderful program and they honored us in so many special ways. My wedding dress displayed. (Holly, age 10, tried it on and it barely fit around her!) Mark had written a special tribute that was so clever and done in a style like the scriptures. It was called The Book of RuBarb. We were able to see a video made by Kim that showed the story of our lives. They also gave us a beautiful engraved ruby vase (for the 40th anniversary). It was a Thanksgiving to remember! This year (2006) we are again celebrating at a restaurant (Holiday Inn). Then we will see a movie and celebrate another year. We have so many blessings and are so thankful for our lives together and our wonderful children and 19 grandchildren. Is it any wonder that Thanksgiving is a favorite time of year for us? We hope to have many more together. Some Childhood Poems and Songs that I Remember Today’s Thanksgiving Day and we have a treat, For there are so many yummy things to eat. Tom Turkey’s on the table just waiting to be carved, I hope my dad soon does it for - goodness sake, I’m starved! I like the cranberries, pie and all the rest, But of all the dinner, I like the turkey best. Tom Turkey’s on the table just waiting to be carved, I hope my dad soon does it – for goodness sake, I’m starved! One little turkey ran away, ran away from home one day. ‘Gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble,” said he. “A Thanksgiving turkey I will not be! No siree, no siree! A thanksgiving turkey I will not be!” Said Mr. Turkey, fat and gay, “Gobble, gobble, gobble! Soon ‘twill be Thanksgiving Day, Gobble, gobble, gobble! Folks all say that means great fun, but I think that I shall run And hide until that day is done. Gobble, gobble, gobble!” It lay there on the table, that gobbler fat and round, But when it was time to cook it, it was nowhere to be found. We asked Kate if she had seen it and John and Annabelle And even Tiny Mary - We asked her if she knew about the missing turkey And she said, “Why course I do! Poor turkey didn’t feel so good since he lost his head, So I put my nightie on him and tucked him in my bed!”

GRANDMA'S CHRISTMAS MEMORIES

It is December 10, 2006 and soon I will celebrate my 63rd Christmas. I would like to recall some of the memories I have from those years which have gone by so quickly. My parents always made the season wonderful and we have tried to do the same for our children. I remember that Christmas started a few weeks early as Mom made her fruitcakes and wrapped them in foil and dishtowels. They became more moist and better the closer it got to Christmas. We would have a little slice with home canned peaches and whipped cream as dessert at almost every meal. Mom also made delicious candies that were for us and also to deliver as gifts to our neighbors. The sugar cookies that were baked were full of butter and were so soft. They were frosted and put into boxes. We loved to sneak cookies when she wasn’t watching. Gingerbread and popcorn balls added to the good smells in the kitchen were a wonderful part of the season. We always had a fresh tree. Dad would usually trade something from the store for a tree. It would stand in the garage until it was time to saw off the bottom and bring it into the house to decorate. The scent of the pine would fill the air and bring Christmas. We never decorated it until after the 15th of the month and it was always taken down on New Year’s Day. The lights were the old-fashioned bulb lights and we also had a string of bubble lights that were our favorites. They would have to warm up and then the bubbles would appear in the liquid. It was always a fascination to me to watch them. I remember many of the same ornaments each year. There was a tinfoil star for the top. Silver icicles had to be separated and carefully hung on the branches so that they were straight. That was a real challenge for children so usually my mother did those. The first time the lights were plugged in was magic. The living room was transformed into a beautiful place for a couple of weeks. Alta Lindsey who was Bishop Lindsey’s wife would bring an arrangement that she had made from pinecones and branches and sprayed gold or silver. It would be placed on the piano with candles. We always thought it was so beautiful. There were also some little candles shaped like carolers that we put out every year. The season officially started when the lights were turned on downtown and Santa came to the old Tabernacle. He arrived as we sang, “Jolly Old St. Nicholas “. We lined up to see him on the stage and after we told him our gift list (which we had memorized), we were given a candy cane and a small brown paper bag containing nuts and hardtack. It seemed incredible that Santa would take time to come to Payson and give us treats. My mother also took us to Provo to the department stores to visit Santa but we understood that these were just Santa’s helpers. The stores had more toys than usual on the shelves but I don’t remember the all out decorating that occurs now starting just after Halloween. How hard it must be for children to wait until Christmas when the season is so extended! When wrote our letters to Santa we were always encouraged thank him for the previous year’s gifts and inquire about his health. Then we could make a couple of requests for special presents. One year I cut a picture of a doll that I liked from a Sears’ catalog and included it in the letter. To my great joy, that very doll was under the tree on Christmas morning. I still have her. Most of time we just enjoyed what we received. Usually, we got much more than we hoped for and were always surprised. We were allowed to go to Forsey’s Five and Dime to buy presents for our parents and brothers and sisters. I remember wandering up and down the aisles trying to decide what to purchase. After our treasures were wrapped in brown paper and tied with string, we carried them home and rewrapped them in colorful Christmas paper with ribbons and tags. How exciting it was to place them under the tree and try to guess what was in the ones that appeared with our names on them. I have to admit to undoing the tape and peeking in the ends to see if I could tell what was inside and then pushing down hard on the tape to get it to stick again. I even peeked in the closets and cedar chest for presents. Sometimes I found them and they were never as special on Christmas morning but I had to act surprised. The presents were usually kept at Dad’s furniture store. On Christmas Eve, we would hear the truck leave and then return. We caught on as we got older but it still meant that Christmas was arriving. The day before Christmas was always the longest of the year. We were out of school and just had to wait until after six o’clock when Dad would close the store and come home. Then we knew that we could get into our party clothes and wait for our relatives to come. We had refreshments, games, and read the Christmas story from the scriptures. We were allowed to open one gift. Then the company left and we could get in our pajamas, hang our stockings and listen to “Twas The Night Before Christmas”. After prayers, we had to try to sleep. One year, we were sure that we heard bells. Somehow, we fell asleep only to wake very early. Someone would go and peek to see if Santa had come! Usually we could tell by the smell - new bikes, dolls, etc. Santa’s presents were unwrapped and sitting under our individual stockings. We shouted that Santa had come and our parents emerged from the bedroom to watch their delighted children dump out the stockings to see if there was a dime in the toe. It was always wrapped in tissue paper. There was always an orange, banana, candy and maybe a little toy. Grandma and Grandpa Tanner would come down the block to watch us open the other presents and to see what Santa had brought. We stayed in our p.j.’s most of the morning as we played with our toys and assembled anything that was not put together. Sometime in the afternoon, we would have to make a pile of our gifts and choose one to take to Grandma and Grandpa Ashby’s house where we would go for dinner. We tried to choose something that wouldn’t get broken by the cousins. After a wonderful meal and fun playing with our cousins, we would return home, turn on the Christmas tree and go through our piles again. It was always a little sad to get in bed on Christmas night and know that this wonderful time was over for another year. Some of the presents I remember receiving are the dolls – one a year until I was twelve, a pink radio with snooze control and an alarm as a young teen, and a wonderful white fuzzy coat when I was in college. We always got new clothes to wear too. I always felt sorry for my cousin, Janice. She and her brothers and sister were only allowed one or two gifts on Christmas. Our house was filled with gifts and I always felt very special and loved. Rulon and I were married in November of 1965 and had a reception in Boulder City the first weekend in December. I was teaching school and Rulon was a student at Brigham Young University so that was our honeymoon. Then, after our schools closed for the holidays, we headed for Boulder City again for Christmas. The day before Christmas there was very different from what I was used to and expected. There was a lot of shopping that day and wrapping until late at night. There was no Christmas Eve program. I was probably homesick but I thought that they weren’t “doing it right”. However, we had a wonderful day the next day and I had to realize that everyone does it different. We were going to go to a show in Las Vegas a couple of days later but I had an acute kidney attack and ended up going to the emergency room. I remember how wonderful Mom and Dad Gibson were to me as well as how concerned Rulon was. By the next Christmas, we had Chris and took him to see Grandma and Grandpa Gibson for Christmas. He was adored and we were so happy to have a little baby for our gift that year. By the next year, we had moved to Lincoln, Nebraska for graduate school. I remember how important each Christmas card seemed. We got a package from each set of grandparents for Chris. We opened them there on Christmas morning and even though we didn’t have much, we were very happy as our own little family. We never did go back to our parents’ homes for Christmas after that. It was always too dangerous to travel in the winter. We enjoyed our friends and their families who were far away from home also. After we moved to Naperville, Illinois, we started having a Christmas Eve activity with friends that became a tradition for many years. We would have Santa bring gifts for each child, sing some songs, have games and refreshments. Then when we got home, it was time to get in pajamas, hang stockings, read from Luke and act out the Christmas story. One memorable Christmas, we chose Kim to act out Mary’s part and Jill had a tantrum and stomped off upstairs. We have never let her live this down. She keeps reminding us that she should always have been Mary because she was the oldest! After a couple of experiences with live trees and dropping needles, we purchased an artificial tree. They were quite new and certainly looked plastic. But we used it for many years and were always glad that we could get it out of the attic anytime and set it up for decorating. We always waited until after Paige’s December 4th birthday to put up the tree so that she would feel like her birthday was special. It was wonderful to have her as a new baby in 1981 – just three weeks before Christmas. We put her in the cradle as baby Jesus – this may have been the year of the nativity tantrum! Planning Christmas for our children was so much fun. Rulon and I would always walk through Toys R Us after we had our anniversary dinner in November. We would try to get ideas and sometimes we started buying thing then. Usually, I would buy things when the kids were in school and hide them before the got home. I always made the girls new dresses and sometime I made everyone new pajamas. They always had new pajamas to wear on Christmas Eve. There were always had lots of school programs to attend plus concerts when the girls were in Young Naperville Singers. I was a room mother each year and so got to do the school parties. It was a busy, hectic time but so enjoyable. After the kids were “asleep” on Christmas Eve, Rulon and I would wrap the gifts and take them down under the tree. Everything was wrapped so that we could lengthen out our gift opening time in the morning. We felt that this was a better way than just having them rush down and seeing everything at once. Also, we hoped that they would remember who gave them the gifts so that they could thank them properly. But wrapping presents until midnight or so got old and after a few years of this, we changed strategies and wrapped things as we bought them. Each Christmas the pile under the tree got larger! Sometimes we spent all morning just unwrapping presents. We would usually take a break and come back to open more presents. We had a tradition where we lined up by age to go down to the living room. It was hard to get Dad out of bed and ready and when the boys were teenagers, they had a hard time. This only added to the anticipation of the younger ones. When everyone was ready, I would go and turn on the tree and the Christmas music and they could go in and empty their stockings. Then Dad passed out the presents one at a time and our Christmas had begun. After everything was opened, we usually had some breakfast, called our grandparents and played games or slept for the rest of the day. It was so nice to just have our own family together. When we had missionaries, we always loved talking with them on Christmas. Chris was in California, Mark and Kim in Germany and Jill in Brazil. It was always a relief to finally hear their voices after trying to get through the long distance hassles. As the kids went off to college, we were always glad when they could come home for Christmas. It meant a lot of trips to the airport and some scary driving weather but having them home was so wonderful. It was great to have them attend church with us and see all the other kids who had come home. When Mark and Kellie moved to Indiana for school, they were able to come and have holidays with us. We loved having our little granddaughters come and I am afraid that we spoiled them. We have also been able to have Chris and Krissy come. The first year after they were married in November, they came as a couple. It was one of the coldest times of the year, but they were so happy that it didn’t matter. They have also brought their family back at Christmas time. Kim and Steve came before Emily was born and received mostly baby gifts! Jill and Dave and family came one year and we had so much fun with them. Lynn announced that Ty was on his was one Christmas with a cute poem. Paige and Dan came to St. George when we went there for Christmas two years ago. In 2005, we stayed here for Christmas alone. It was a Sunday and we were able to go to church and see our “singles” and celebrate with them. Then a few days after, we were able to go to Israel on a tour and see the place with it all began. I have such a different feeling about the story of the birth of Christ now that I have seen Bethlehem. I know that it did occur as is told and that it was the most wonderful thing that God could have given us. This knowledge is so precious to me and makes this Christmas even more special. I remember the things that we saw and the lessons we learned there and it makes it so much more real. This will always impact me at Christmas and at Easter as I remember what Christ did for us. This year, we are travelling again. We will stay with Paige, Dan and Natalia and then travel to Wyoming to be with Mark, Kellie, Holly, Kayla, Heather, and Karli for Christmas. That will be a fun, exciting time to be with a family again. We also will see Jill, Dave, Scottie, Mason, and Tanna as well as Kim, Steve, Emily and Ella. We will visit with Lynn, Dustin, Ty, Samantha, Braydon and Karyssa while we are there and hope to go to St. George to see Chris, Krissy, Tevin, Chandler, Harrison, Sloane and Holden (who is one now – born December 6, 2005 at home!) I hope to have many more Christmases. My parents have had 90! It will be good to be with them again also. I will add more memories as the years go by. Merry Christmas!

Grandma's Gladness

Sunday, November 9, 2008

Kindness Begins With Me

3 comments:

Grandma Gibson

Grandma's Eternal Sweetheart

Grandma's Parents

Grandma's First Family

Chris

Mark

Jill

Kim

Lynn

Paige

Chandler

Tevin

Holly

Harrison

Kayla

Scottie

Ty

Samantha

Sloane

Heather

Emily

Mason

Braydon

Ella

Karli

Natalia

Holden

Tanna

Karyssa

Eden

Hayden

Krissy

Kellie

Dave

Steve

Dustin

Dan

Blog Archive

A Lifetime of Creating, Loving, & Sharing